Nxg

Every time you feel like giving vent to negative feelings, stop, think and then act! ARUNA SANKARANARAYANAN

Your father unfairly chastises you for being late. Your teacher says you are not working hard enough when in fact you are. A classmate spreads a malicious rumour about you. In each of these instances, you feel justifiably angry, humiliated or frustrated. It is perfectly normal and alright to experience these negative feelings.

However, in the interests of your own well-being and larger societal concerns, it is important that you learn to deal with your negative emotions in appropriate ways. While your first reaction might be to bang the door on your father’s face, talk back to your teacher or slap your friend, you must remember that initial reactions are often not the best ones. Remember that there is a difference between reacting and responding to anger. When you react, you act on your first impulse and may even regret your action.

Give it time

The first golden rule when you feel angry is to STOP, take a breath, count till five. Very often, an impulsive urge to act aggressively subsides within a few seconds. However, if you still feel angry, give yourself more time by leaving the provocative situation if possible. Then label how you are feeling and ask yourself why you are feeling that way. It is easier to handle a feeling when we give it a name. For example, “I am really frustrated that I cannot skate as well as my friends” or “I am angry with my friend because she didn’t invite me to her party.” While you may be able to identify the reason correctly in some cases, the human mind is also complex and confusing. Supposing you fail a test and then your mother calls you careless for losing your lunch bag. On most days, you would respond calmly, but because you are upset by your failing grade, you snap at your mother.

Help at hand

• If you are feeling angry or depressed more often than usual or are in a bad mood most of the time, talk to someone about it.
• Approach a friend, parent or family member and tell them how you are feeling.
• If there is a problem that needs to be resolved, perhaps your confidante can help.
• However, if the problem cannot be identified or solved, ask for professional help. Do not feel shy about doing so.
• If your anger makes you want to hurt either yourself or someone physically, see a counsellor immediately.

The author is Director, PRAYATNA.

**************************************************

Burning issue…

The Bus Day violence and the incident of the student stabbing his teacher only show that violence is on the rise, especially among the youth. Have people become so delusional that they cannot see the effects of their actions? Here’s what some youngsters have to say…

Bus Day celebrations shouldn’t be encouraged, or even tolerated, for all it serves to do is bring to the front unruly behaviour, traffic disruption and then making the environment unsafe for all civilians. Strict law enforcement should be there. As for the boy, his senselessness is unbelievable. I feel, to prevent the increase of violence among youth, counselling sessions with mentors should be encouraged where in educational institutions one teacher shall be the mentor for a few students. - AHANA SHETTY, III Year, EEE, S.S.N. College of Engineering

************************

Some of our actions have an impact on others. It is our responsibility to make sure our actions do not have an adverse impact on them. I believe if the youth spend time on recreational activities, any negativity that could possibly stem from situations won’t be of a shocking magnitude, certainly not shocking enough to stone policemen and other people or murder impulsively. - SANJANA NICHANI, I Year, B.Com (A&F), M.O.P. Vaishnav College for Women

************************

It is not every day that we read about a 15-year-old killing his teacher. The fact that the boy killed over grade issues is rather disturbing and it also pinpoints to the depreciation in the value of human life. The pandemonium the students caused in the name of Bus Day celebrations represents the perplexing nature of a few youngsters who are unable to comprehend the significance of their lives. Kids and youngsters should seriously be enlightened about the importance of their purpose in the world and more importantly about living in harmony.  - NIVIDHA GURWARA, III Year, B.Tech (Chemical Engineering), SRM University

************************

I believe that the sole reason behind these horrible happenings is movies and other television programmes. Obviously, no school, college or parent would teach their children to cause destruction and harm others. Even movies do not encourage such things but the people involved in such incidents usually take wrong ideas from them. People need to get real; it’s not cool to cause chaos and definitely not right to kill a person. We can’t stop movies but we can teach people the right way to interpret them. - ARSHAD ALI, Professional working for a Bio-Medical Firm

************************

We may be tempted to blame the media and movies for this behaviour but for a 15-year-old, where was his sense of judgment? He was not a pre-schooler and movies don’t show kids on a killing spree. Shedding some light on the Bus Day blunder, which part of hijacking, injuring people, damaging property and creating nuisance to public is “celebration”? I mean, schools and colleges claim to give a holistic learning experience but lay emphasis only on academics. The system has failed in instilling values in students as it rewards marks and not how good or better a human being the person is becoming. - SHARAN M., Final Year, B.E. (Computer Science)

************************

These days, youngsters are forced to grow in a negative environment where they are vulnerable to bullying, suffer from complexes or do things due to peer pressure. But they are unable to express it so there is a lot of negativity within them which makes them express it violently. Parents need to spend a lot of time with their children at this crucial part of their lives so as to shape them into good human beings. - ABIGAIL KEARNEY, III Year, B.E. (EEE), Easwari Engineering College

************************

It is very unfortunate that such outbursts of anger and violence are becoming very common with the youth. The college students charged with ‘attempt to murder’ for injuring people and damaging buses need to channelise their anger and exuberance in building a better future for themselves and the nation, as acts like these are not going to take them anywhere. The incident of the 15-year-old boy shows the immense pressure students are facing these days to perform better, which is leading to a lot of frustration and is resulting in suicides and violent incidents like this. - Y. TANUJA, M.B.A., IIPM Chennai

************************

The two incidents have been shocking. While the stabbing incident has left me speechless, I have been seriously disappointed with the Bus Day incident as millions of youngsters across the country have been fighting for causes like Lok Pal to stop corruption and ensure proper spending of people’s taxes. Here, in contrast, a few are vandalising public property for short-term joy. This just shows the lack of responsibility in some youngsters who aren’t bothered about society or the country. Social consciousness is the need of the hour. - K. BHAVISH, Std X, S.B.O.A School & Junior College

************************

Youth today do not like to be ordered or dictated to. Somehow, the exposure to media and all kinds of entertainment has influenced their minds and people think they can do or react the way they want and get away with it. Little do they realise that anger and emotions can get in the way of rational thinking. Life is not going to be served on a plate to anybody. Our manners, behavior and the tact to deal with situations are what define our character. - ARSH SHAH, pursuing CA

************************

Violence by youth can be because of any of the following reasons: family issues, where a person may not be able to handle his family problems, and this may result in a lot of pent-up frustration; misguided principles; or simply that they love to be part of action and prove to their friends that they threw stones at a bus, or beat up a guy who didn’t give in to them. And then there’s stress and pressure at the workplace or in personal life. Youth is an age of passion, energy, vigour and vitality. Channelled in the wrong way, it results in violence. - TARUN KINGER, IT Professional

************************

One of the reasons behind increasing violence among youth could be quite a trivial one. Be it the movies that show gangsters to be cool, or video-games where winning depends on the number of people you can gun down, or even music, we are exposed to violence even in forms of entertainment that are supposed to help us relax. Although the extent of their influence is questionable, they undoubtedly have an impact on impressionable minds and contribute to erratic behaviour. - SAHARSHA JACOB, III Year, B.A. English, Women’s Christian College

************************

There is one section of the youth, which is standing up for their rights by expressing them in non-violent ways, while another finds ways to vent their anger against the harsh rules of the society through violence. In a way they are not to be blamed. If parents and teachers show more interest in the child’s academic and non-academic life they will be much more tolerant towards hardships. At the end of the day all they want is to be heard by all: their parents, teachers and society. - SHRUTI CHAUHAN, I Year, B.Com, Stella Maris College

************************

Whose is to be blamed? Being capable of such violent behaviour at such an age is definitely not normal and not trying to escape or not showing signs of remorse and guilt brings to light a lot of things. It calls for the redemption and introspection of the education system. Academic stress and pressure drains and bogs down students mentally and emotionally. This incident also brings to light the importance of guidance and counselling for students. It’ll help the students emotionally and help boost their morale. Not all can ace in all subjects; that fact should be accepted and students shouldn’t be pressurised to learn something that doesn’t come to them naturally. Let’s hope the really needed change on the way our educational system is looked into keeping in mind the psychology of students. - NIVEDITHA KUMAR, XII

As told to SHWETA J. NICHANI (III Year B.Sc. ISM student of M.O.P. Vaishnav College For Women) and BHARGAV KOSURI (III Year B.Tech Civil Engineering student at SRM University)

Popularity: 1% [?]