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What does it take to keep love going? VIDYA IYER

“You can’t hurry love.” We’ve heard that a zillion times. But need a great deal of patience and faith to keep the flame alive when you’re dealing with different time zones, erratic shifts and other bottlenecks. Priya, a student, says her boyfriend and she are very happy with each other. “One has to make that extra effort to make things good and happening. There is a lot of trust between us. We don’t expect to be together all the time as it is not possible. If we can’t meet we talk over phone or keep in touch by e-mail. The more you communicate the more you build trust,” she says.
Put a lot into it
Rachel, a young working professional, says one has to put in a lot in a relationship. “There is adjustment, compromise, understanding and more. A lot of talking, sharing and discussion is required. It is a must to spend time with your loved one, else the relationship goes haywire.” The “Dev D” generation, she says, doesn’t understand these issues when they plunge into a relationship. “One needs to be mature to get into a relationship,” she says.Rohit, 28, is engaged to a girl his parents have chosen. But they share a good rapport and are getting to know each other. “Building trust will take time and it is slowly happening. There are clashes of interests, thoughts but we discuss out and come to a mutual agreement. There will be ups and down in a relationship but we plan to make it work.”So what does it take? Veena Chakravarthy, a leading psychotherapist and counsellor in Mumbai says it all. “Communication is the key to a healthy relationship. Open and clear communication is an essential factor in all relationships since that’s the best way to share our ideas, opinions, thoughts etc. Respect your partner. Hear them out and try and understand their perspective,” she says.Life is a box of chocolate…The Tom Hanks mantra does apply to the daily living and that’s what made our grandparents lead a romantic and fulfilling life.
Photo: RAMESH SHARMA
Don’t play the blame game: Dont level accusations at each other because this just gets the defence mechanisms working and the end result is a clash of the egos, where both of you are not willing to concede or even understand.Keep communication doors open: Clear expression always makes life simple. Don’t drop hints the other half is not a mind reader.Stop assuming: Negative thoughts and assumptions sound the death knell for any relationship. Clarify things with your partner than assuming and believing incorrect things.Acknowledge: Notice little and big things about your partner. Compliment them once in a while. This will make them feel special, loved and cared.Appreciate: Thank your partner for things that they do for you. Do not take him/her for granted. Showing appreciation for the efforts that they have made to make you feel happy.Listen: Take an active interest in things that are important to your partner. Discuss their hobbies, interests, career options…

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