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I love the roads of Madras. Uh-huh. You did read right. LOVE. Pure plenary love.I was in an auto the other day, when it dipped into an exotic ditch on the road, causing my body to indulge in a vertical movement towards the roof of the vehicle. Wow. That was fun! Yay…. where’s the next bump on the road?

Many reasons

Now I can successfully think of many reasons why the Corporation shouldn’t do anything to make the roads smooth.

Reason 5: Rainy season=mud puddles! What greater joy than prancing from one puddle to another in damp, cold weather?

Reason 4: Relative theory of bad roads. The more your vehicle rattles the faster it gets damaged: equation 1. The faster your vehicle gets damaged, the sooner you get a new one: equation 2. Add the two… Conclusion: The more your vehicle rattles on the road the sooner you get a new one. So bad roads=new vehicles.

Reason 3: …continuation from Reason 4. The faster your vehicle gets damaged, the companies will produce more durable ones. Therefore bad roads=durable vehicles = saving money.

Reason 2: Bad roads=good for health. Research will prove and recommend that travelling by auto at least once a week on Chennai roads is extremely good for health, as all the jumping up and down causes your organs to shake up and be active and healthy. This would be especially true in the case of those who don’t use their brains. Bad roads will also aid digestion. And the most important reason…

Reason 1: Bad roads = Pure fun. Why pay Rs.500 and go to VGP and MGM to ride that silly roller-coaster? Free bumpy rides with special features like road of death and near reality accidents now available for free in Chennai. Just take your vehicle out and ride fast on the roads! Conditions apply**

There… now… I’m sure even you love Chennai roads. So please stop writing Letters to the Editor complaining about bad roads. Enjoy the fun while you can!

** The above not applicable on certain roads like Poes Garden, Mount Road and Nungambakkam High Road. For a full list of good roads, please travel more frequently. For extreme pleasure, travel in the suburbs and outskirts.

VAISHNAVI PRASAD, Graduate, BA Journalism 2006-2009, MOP Vaishnav College for Women

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